


we can live while we're alive

by prythian



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:29:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27990792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prythian/pseuds/prythian
Summary: "I don't want to go," he admits to george."I know," george murmurs. "and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't try and do anything."in which tommy always has george, every step of the way.
Relationships: GeorgeNotFound & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 212





	1. new around here

**Author's Note:**

> hi, i wrote the first five chapters in 5ish hours. i just really want more george and tommy content so this was really written for me but i'm posting it anyway. there may be a few grammar issues, etc, just ignore them.  
> title from Mad IQ's by idkhbtfm.

he's new here. he had been invited by _dream himself,_ which wasn't very surprising, because who wouldn't want him around? still, it was lonely. none of his friends are here, not yet anyway he'd make sure of it, but for now he was a wanderer, attempting to make a start in this foreign place.

_maybe I shouldn't have taken up dream's offer ,_ he thinks to himself as he dutifully plants his carrots outside his little base. it was made of dirt and cobblestone - an ugly sight, to be honest, but hey it was a work in progress. _I could always go back. phil always welcomes us back with open arms, no matter how far we stray._ he groans and stands up, cracking his back and tilting his head. he looks up at the sky - it's pure blue, not a cloud in sight.

it's rather strange, this world. there is never any rain, no thunder or lightning flashing through the sky. it's always clear of clouds, just the vast open world ahead of them. at night, the sky is pitch black, the moon full with thousands of stars scattered on the sky’s canvas. it's a perfect world. too perfect. nothing like the one's phil hops around in, with monsters lurking behind every tree and the looming threat of death as you fight to survive. it's nothing like that here.

"hey," a voice breaks him out of his thoughts. he whirls around. _who the fuck?_ he looks down to see a pair of goggles staring up at him. ah. george.

"well, if it isn't big g," tommy says, crossing his arms and smirking. george looks unimpressed, impatiently tapping a hand against his thigh. "why ya here? have you come seeking help from the big man himself?" george huffs, and tommy cackles. it's so easy getting the other man riled up.

"just wanted to see how things are," george replies, walking past him. he looks around, at tommy's pitiful carrot farm and his even more depressing house. "seems like you're doing fine." he turns back around and laughs at tommy's expression. he scowls.

"why are you really here, gogy?" he questions. george's smile fades, and his face is back to its usual emotionless mask. out of everyone in this world, george is the one that tommy knows the least about. sure, ponk and sam are mysterious enigmas who he rarely crosses paths with, but at least he knows some things about them - ponk, who loves his lemon trees, and sam who is fascinated by redstone and is often seen lugging weird items around. they're both never around, but at least tommy has some dirt on them (he once burnt down one of ponk's lemon trees and didn't respawn for three days after that whole affair). george though, is a fucking cryptid. tommy has never seen him alone, he's always with dream or sapnap, occasionally with callahan who trails after him like a lost puppy. he narrows his eyes are george steps forward. _who the fuck are you?_

"you're new here, so I can give you the benefit of the doubt and give you some advice: _don't_ , whatever you do, get on dream's bad side. it may not seem like it, but this world has rules," he waves a hand, a glint of gold flashing. tommy never realised that george wore a ring, but there it was. "dream can tolerate a lot of things, but take it too far tommy, and you won't like what happens."

silence hangs in the air before tommy breaks out laughs, bending in half as he struggles to breathe. "you're fucking with me, right?" he wipes his eyes and stands upright. he smiles at george. "thanks for the warning, but it isn't needed." he claps george on the shoulder and turns around, grabbing the rest of the carrots which he had laid on the small table that stood next to his farm. he crouches down and starts planting, ignoring george as he goes about working. there's a few minutes of silence between them before tommy sighs and turns around. "look, if you're not gonna say anything can you-"

he stops. blinks. george is no longer there. he drops the carrots and stands up, walking warily forward. he looks around, and george is simply not there. _what the fuck._ he didn't hear him leave.


	2. the start of the beginning

he's sitting on top of l'manberg's walls, swinging his legs as the sun sets in front of him. tomorrow is the day of reckoning - independence, or death. he sighs and lays back on the stone, looking up at the sky. it's a vast sea of dark blues and purples, the first stars winking down at him. once again, the sky is perfect, with no clouds in sight. it's a quiet night, no zombies growling down below him or the hiss of a creeper as it explodes while tubbo or jack scramble away from it. it's peaceful for a night that will soon give way to a day that determines their fates. 

someone sits down next to him. he doesn't give any reaction as the person silently reclines, their shoulder brushing his. they lay in silence, watching as the moon travels across the sky. their interactions are always like this - no words spoken, just enjoying the others company. time passes, and tommy must've fell asleep, because he wakes up in his bed in his house outside of l'manberg. he jolts up, panicking. he hurriedly gets out of bed, tripping over his own feet as he rushes to get back to l'manberg. he's nearly out the door when a hand tugs him back, iron clad grip on his forearm. 

"where do you think you're going?" tommy whips around and sighs. "george." the man flashes him a grin before pulling him to a chair, sitting him down. he kneels in front of tommy, hand resting on a knee. 

"you need to calm down. it's only early morning, you have plenty of time to get back to l'manberg." he pats him on the knee and rises, walking over to tommy's chests. he rummages around in them, ignoring tommy's complaints. george pulls out a glass bottle filled with water and hands it to him. "drink, tommy."

he takes it and looks at it sceptically. "you haven't poisoned this, have you?" george rolls his eyes. "no. you literally just saw me pull that out of one of _your_ chests. besides, if I wanted to poison you, I wouldn't have done it like this."

tommy edges slightly away as george chuckles at his own joke. he grumbles before lifting the bottle to his lips, taking a long sip. "what are you doing here? you aren't on my side of this war."

george sighs, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms. tommy only now notices that he's wearing a netherite chest plate, gleaming from enchantments. he also has a bow and quiver slung over his shoulder, a sword strapped to his belt and dagger tucked into his boots. he doesn't really look like he's going into battle, but tommy knows not to underestimate george. he may look unprotected, but really, he's anything but. tommy has sparred with the man a few times, and always gets his ass handed to him. in some ways he reminds him of technoblade - he fights viciously, not letting up as he attacks and breaks down your defence.

"no, I'm not," george says softly, looking down and biting his lip. for once his goggles are off, but that doesn't give tommy much of an insight to what george is thinking or feeling. it's said that the eyes are the window to the soul, and either george doesn't have a soul or his eyes are fucking doors that don't let anyone in. he looks back up, and his eyes bore into tommy. there's no emotion behind them, and tommy resists the urge to squirm. he's always unnerved with the way george will look at him, as if he can read him like a book. he doesn't say anything else other than that, and tommy sighs and stands up.

"I guess I'll see you on the other side then," he says, passing george. he hesitates. he's rarely one to show affection, always shouting and pushing his friends and family away. george is also like that, but with less yelling and more bitchiness. tommy growls. this is fucking stupid. he continues walking out, slamming the door behind him as he goes down the path to l'manberg. 

no one had noticed his absence, but wilbur watches him as he laughs with fundy and gears up. he turns around and stares back at his brother, who nods at him. he nods back, and they make their way to the camarvan. he has a war to win. and if he and george watch the sun set that night as george patches up their wounds with gentle hands, it’s only between them. 


	3. the first exiling

he and wilbur have been exiled, and somehow convinced their brother to stop farming potatoes and join their cause. they now live in a ravine, which he has dubbed 'pogtopia'. techno said it sounded dumb, but tommy ignored his brother and told him to fuck off. techno only laughed in his face and then proceeded to disappear for a week, coming back with enchanted netherite armour and an axe which can take you down with a swing and a half. _whatever_ , tommy doesn't care what techno does. 

he's now out alone, wandering the forest around their new base ('home away from home', wilbur called it as they hollowed out a small area for them in the hill. techno had snorted but didn't say anything as his brothers attempted to cheer each other up). it's quiet as he walks, the forest open to the sky and light filtering through the branches. there's no shadows, nowhere really to hide or lurk in waiting, which is why it's a complete surprise when someone sidles up next to him. he jumps and brandishes his iron sword, pointing it at his offender. he doesn't lower it when he sees who it is. in fact, he pushes it into the others chest, who seems unaffected by these events.

"george," he snarls. "what the fuck? why didn’t you fucking do anything? you must've known, you _must've-_ " his voice breaks, and his grip on his sword falters as he trembles. george as usual doesn’t show any emotion, but his face softens as he steps closer, the sword further sinking into his chest. the idiot's not wearing any armour. tommy retracts the sword, taking several steps back. he drags his hand down his face and sheathes his sword, taking a deep breath. 

"I'm sorry tommy," he sounds sincere, and tommy looks at him. his clothes are dirty and torn in some places, his usual blue cloak caked in mud and dirt. he looks like shit. tommy sighs. "s'okay. what are you doing here?"

george shrugs and looks away. there's a faint blush to his cheeks, and tommy smirks. "you were worried about me, weren't you?"

"not just you!" george is quick to rebuttal, glaring up at him. "I wanted to check up on wilbur too."

"aw. this is so unlike you, gogy," tommy teases, "I didn't know you cared so much about us." george huffs.

"yeah, whatever. I heard that you both dragged techno into this mess."

tommy can't help the proud smile that creeps up onto his face. "stop it." tommy rolls his eyes at george's tone. "ok, so you've seen me now, and I'm fine. you can go now," he dismisses george, walking past the other man. he can hear george mutter angrily to himself before following, footsteps silent. 

"you're really fucking clingy," tommy tells him. george only laughs in response. they trek back to pogtopia, tommy killing the occasional chicken or cow and george branching off only to come back a few minutes later. they reach the base before sundown, and tommy turns to george. "thanks for walking me home," he says sarcastically. george grins, softening into a smile as he stares up at tommy. tommy looks away uncomfortably, not used to george looking at him like that - like he actually _cares._ george never shows emotion, not in front of dream or sapnap, his two closest with friends. but with tommy he's slowly breaking down that mask he always wears, showing a more friendly side to him than his usual coldness. and what’s even worse, tommy is starting to see george as a friend - no, a brother. it's been months since they first met, both of them slowly opening up. tommy's known george for such a short amount of time, but he feels like he can trust the man with anything. 

_ emotions, _ he thinks in disgust as he turns and walks into the base, down into pogtopia, leaving george. techno's waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs. he's sharpening his axe, which really doesn’t need any more sharpening. it seems to glow in the torchlight, edge glinting red. tommy hates to think what has touched that. 

"how was your day, tommy?" techno asks, emotionless as always. the only person tommy knows who can show even less emotions than george is fucking technoblade. a master of uncaring, no one ever knows what his true motives are. which is why tommy must be careful with his response.

"good!" he replies cheerfully, cringing instantly. _good job, tommyinnit._ his brother levels him with a stare, red eyes meeting blue. tommy hates how weak he is under that gaze, hates how techno can make him feel helpless and powerless. _it's your brother, he won’t hurt you,_ he tells himself as techno brushes past him, axe thrown over his shoulder as he climbs up the stairs. 

"I'll return soon. don't know where wilbur is, so you'll have the place to yourself. touch my potato farm, tommy, and you'll regret having me as a brother," techno's voice drifts down to him. tommy laughs. _classic techno._


	4. the night before the end of the world

he's finally back in l'manberg, with tubbo as his president. the fight had been tough, and the betrayals stung. one of his brother’s dead, now a ghost who trails after him, and his other brother wanted and disappeared along with phil. still, he's happy where he is now, vice president of _new_ l'manberg, side by side with his partner in crime. dream has left them alone for now, allowing them to rebuild their nation.

_ nothing can go wrong now.  _ or so he thought. it's now the night of his trial, where it will be decided if he's to be exiled or not. he's nervous, of course he is, how could he not? but he trusts tubbo to make the right decision. surely, he'll choose him over dream. right? he sighs.

he's sitting on his bench outside his house, jukebox playing one of his discs. not the ones that he got back from dream, dream still has a hold of some, but one that was gifted to him by george. it was just before the final fight against schlatt, and george had pressed the disc into his hand with a smile.

_ "take care of this for me." _

_ "wh- george you can't just give this to me what the fuck are you insane?" _

"I hear you're playing my disc," the man himself says, sitting down next to tommy. tommy shrugs. george huffs out a laugh. "watching the sunset again, are we?" tommy nods, not trusting himself to speak. if he does, he fears that he'll say too much. george looks at him weirdly but doesn’t push it. 

"dream dethroned me. it didn't surprise me, but it hurt. he gave the crown back to eret, of course. they seem happy now that they have their castle and kingdom back. they've knighted puffy. would've knighted me, but I didn't want it. I've been trying to make up excuses to myself for why dream did what he did, but the answer always comes back to him hating me," he lets out a bitter laugh, "but I know that it's not true. he loves me. he loves me too much and it's breaking him. he tries to put on this front, but really, he cares so much that it's tearing him apart. he thinks that he shouldn't care. he thinks himself a god."

tommy turns to him. "he is a god," he whispers, voice hoarse. george smiles sadly. "no. he's just a man whom we've given too much power. there are gods in this world, tommy. your brother one of them. you know this. we all know it. dream knows it, but he wants to be the only god. but you can't be the only god if you weren't one in the first place."

"then what is he?" tommy asks, voice trembling. he fears the answer. george gives him a vicious grin. "a follower, tommy."

"to whom?" he whispers. george shakes his head. "you'll find out. you're smart, tommy. your brother only realised after he pushed that damned button, and by then it was too late."

tommy exhales. "I'm sorry about losing your crown," he offers. george shrugs. "I'm not. I didn't care enough." tommy laughs. _of course you didn't._

"what do you care about then?" george pauses. he glances at tommy before lifting his head to the sky, looking up at the expanse of the universe. tommy does too, both of them watching the sky as the disc loops back to the start, playing softly as the boys sit silently.

"a lot of things," he finally says, carefully. he doesn't say anything more.

"sorry 'bout burning your house, gogy." a soft laugh, and tommy rolls his neck to look at the other man. his eyes are closed, smile stretched across his face. he seems relaxed, happy. open.

"it's okay. I can always rebuild it." tommy hums and looks back up at the sky. the moon hands directly above them. midnight. his trial is closer than he thought.

"I don't want to go," he admits to george.

"I know," george murmurs. "and I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't try and do anything."

tommy sits up suddenly, eyes wide as he stares at george. "no, this isn't your fault. this is my fault alone. don't beat yourself up about this. if I'm exiled don't you dare think that it's because of you, ok? whatever happens, happens."

"because of dream," george whispers, barely audible, but tommy still catches the words. he sighs.

"yeah. 'cause of dream."

they don't speak again, not until the sun is peaking through the trees and their eyes dark with exhaustion.

"good luck. not that you need it," george says.

tommy nods. "thanks man." he turns and walks down the path to new l'manberg, just like that morning months ago when he walked preparing for war. now, he braces himself for exile. 


	5. conversations with the dead

_ "the discs don't matter, tommy." _ tubbo's words ring in his ears as he mines, pickaxe harshly chipping at iron. he's been at it for hours, heart pounding in his chest and arms trembling as he brings the pick down, down, _down._ rocks shower on him, cutting skin and blinding his sight. he rubs angrily at his eyes, cursing as the irritation only gets worse.

"fuck!" he screams, throwing the pickaxe down. he heaves a sob, hands clutching at his hair. he feels like he can't breathe. he's suffocating and he needs _out._ he shouts for wil- _ghosbur_ but all that comes out is a croak. _fuck fuck fuck help someone please-_

suddenly hands push down on his shoulders, and he's forced to crouch, back hitting against the cave wall. he hears murmuring, and his head his shoved down. fingers wrap around his wrist, gently tugging his hands away from his head. he feels far away and doesn't register when they person places their hand in his, squeezing tightly. warmth spreads down his arm, and he gasps in shock as his chest constricts.

_ he can't fucking breathe- _

as soon as the pain flared up it disappears, and all that's left is a numbing calmness. his head lolls and he sobs into his knee, drawing his legs up closer to his chest. there's shifting and a hand runs through his hair, lightly scratching at his scalp. he shivers and opens his eyes, blinking back tears and dirt. fingers massage his head, and he sighs in relief.

"thank you," he says brokenly, raising his head. he isn't surprised to see brown eyes staring at him, lips pursed together, and eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"you need to take better care of yourself, tommy," george says harshly. tommy knows that george isn't angry with him, but he still flinches away from him, knocking back the hands which hover over him. "I'm sorry but I can't exactly control when I have a panic attack."

guilt immediately flashes across george's face and he rocks back on his heels. "I-I know. I didn't mean it like that." tommy shakes his head. he can't deal with this shit right now. he makes to stand up but his legs crumble underneath him, head pounding. his vision flashes white, and he briefly panics before arms slip underneath him, hauling him up. he tries to pull away from george, but the shorter man wraps a hand around his waist, snagging him before he can make his escape.

"no, tommy," george scowls, pulling the boy closer to him, "I know you don't like it, but you need help. just let me. please." tommy lets out a whine but nods, giving in and tucking his head into george's neck. he can just see the idiots victorious grin on his face. they move slowly up towards the surface, george careful not to jolt him. waiting for them at the mouth of the cave is ghostbur, who awkwardly flutters around them.

"hey, wil," george greets the ghost. ghostbur offers george a small smile. "I don't remember you, sorry."

george shrugs. "s'okay. guess we'll have to make new memories, yeah?" ghostbur looks excited at the prospect, but when tommy groans the expression on his face is only concern. "is he okay?"

they reach tommy's tent, and george lowers him onto his bed. tommy curls up onto his side, sinking into the mattress. "he'll be fine. he has you." george smiles softly down at the boy, covering him with the thin blankets that laid on the bed. 

ghostbur looks away from the sight, grey features rippling. "yeah, but I don't think I'm doing a great job. I think I'm his brother, but… why can't I remember?"

george straightens, turning around to stare at the ghost. "it's your choice to know what you remember, wil. if you truly wanted to, you could."

"how?" ghostbur demands, floating forwards, "and why do you keep calling me wil? I go by ghostbur."

" _you,_ the one that doesn't remember, goes by ghostbur. if you want to remember then you'll have to go back and relive what happened, including accepting your own name."

"my name?" the ghost whispers. his already pale face goes impossibly paler, eyes lifeless as he floats away. george follows, and they come to a stop in front of the sea. the lapping of the water is the only sound, and ghostbur looks forlornly out to the horizon. 

"wilbur," the ghost finally says, turning to george with a sad smile. "my name is wilbur." they stand in silence as the sun rises, pink hues dancing across the water. wilbur turns around and floats back without a word, back to the tent where tommy is sleeping. george watches the sun for a while longer, before he hears tommy's indignant cries of when he wakes up, and leaves. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok, this is all i have for you. dunno when or if i'll update


	6. revelations and confirmations

_no one cares. no one fucking cares about me._

he's lying down on the beach, submerged in sand as the tide rises.

_why did no one come, dream?_

he's so done with this. with everything. it's only been two weeks but he's exhausted. he misses new l'manberg. he misses his house and his discs. he misses niki's bakery and fundy's warm laugh. he misses ranboo's comforting presence. he even misses fucking eret. he misses…

"tubbo," he exhales. he closes his eyes. the compass is heavy in his pocket. it's burning him, searing into his skin. he's tempted to throw it out into the ocean, but he knows that he'll immediately dive into the waves back for it. he's scared that he might never come back up.

_it's not like they want you anyway._

someone settles down next to him. it's not the chill of wilbur when he attempt to hug tommy, nor of dream's scorching heat as the masked man grips onto his shoulder. it's a comforting warmth, like coming home.

"hey tommy," george says softly. he sounds sad.

"no one showed up," he says dully. "they all said no. everyone but dream."

"dream isn’t your friend."

tommy scoffs. "you don't know anything george. he's always been there for me. unlike you."

" _what?_ " george sounds surprised. tommy glances to him. he isn't wearing his goggles for once, and his eyes are wide in disbelief. there's bags under his eyes, and he's paler than usual.

"what?" tommy mocks him. he sits up, brushing off all the sand coated on him. he stands and stalks over to his tent, sitting on the bed. a few minutes pass and george comes in, crouching in front of him.

"tommy," he says sternly. tommy looks stubbornly away. he doesn't want to face those dark eyes. a hand grabs his chin, forcing him to look at george. "I've _always_ been there, tommy. I promise you, I'm on _your_ side."

"it doesn't seem like that," tommy mutters. "I haven't seen you for days. why don't you visit me?"

"you know it's not as simple as that."

"then make it simple."

george growls in frustration and runs a hand through his hair. he stands back and starts pacing, mumbling to himself. he suddenly stops and stares at tommy, fixing him with an intense gaze.

"you _know_ I can't interfere tommy. that's how it's always been, and how it will always go. it's written in the script."

"fuck the script!" tommy screeches, seething. his body shakes in barely controlled anger. he's so fucking _tired_ of people telling him of what is meant to be and what isn't. ( _it was never meant to be_ ). "there is no script! it's war, george, so fucking do something."

"I _can't_ ," george whispers, almost brokenly. for the first time, tommy sees him. he sees an error wrapped in golden chains of code, tied to a mad man and a mask made of porcelain. power shifts and coils under his skin in hues of blue and silver, trapped underneath frail bones and a body that bleeds red.

"he has you, doesn't he?" tommy doesn't have to ask, he already knows. but he needs confirmation, and at george's tired nod he lets out a sob. at the back of his mind he knew what dream was doing was wrong, that it was all a lie woven into a reality that he believed. he foolishly followed him, confessed his fears and inner most insecurities only for the man to break him down even further.

"why is he doing this?"

george shrugs and sits on the floor cross-legged. "he feeds off chaos," he says slowly, deep in thought. "he is not a god, but with the power we've given him, he may as well be."

"what do you mean _we've_ given him? he doesn't have anything!" tommy says, incredulous. what could dream possibly have? he lost his closest friends, all he has is an empty throne and-

"the discs," he breathes. he looks to george who shifts uncomfortably. "you're telling me that if I took the discs back, I could defeat him? _kill_ him even?"

"no, that's not it," george says hurriedly, "you're thinking too literally. he only has power because you believe he has it. if you lost all interest in the discs, then he truly will have nothing, and he won't have anything to hold over you."

"you're telling me to forget about the discs? everything I've lost, everything I've done up to this point, is now worthless?"

"not everything, tommy. you've fought for your friends, your freedom. I'm just advising you that if you wish to bring down dream, you need to prioritise what is important to you." with that he stands up and brushes off his clothes, reaching into his cloak to bring out his goggles. he puts them on, and tommy oddly misses his dark eyes, the emotion which shone in them not a moment ago.

"i'll be seeing you tommy."

"bye," tommy says absently as george walks out of the tent. for the first time in a while, he feels confident knowing what he needs to do.

he has nothing on him when he leaves a few weeks later, tears slipping down his cheeks as he hobbles away from the ruins of logstedshire. he was expecting dream to snap, but not as explosively - _ha, explosively,_ he thinks bitterly - as he did.

maybe it was for the best though. he finally has an excuse to leave, and dream won't be none to wiser with the tower that climbs up the sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to the year 2021 folks. been a while since i updated/uploaded anything so here's another chapter i've been attempting to write for a few weeks. hope you're all well and safe, remember to take breaks and prioritise your own health if things get too hard.  
> might update break of day within the next week, unsure though. we'll see how it goes


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